Watch this entire video.  Share it with your loved ones.  An extraordinarily powerful message about the dangers of drinking and driving.

Please don’t drive under the influence.

CARE Deploys Supplies, More Emergency Team Members to Haiti
Humanitarian Group Says Need for Funds Remains Great

SANTO DOMINGO (Jan. 14, 2010) – CARE has launched a global appeal for $10 million to help the survivors of Tuesday’s devastating earthquake in Haiti. The exact death toll is unknown, but aid groups are estimating that three million people – that’s one-third of Haiti’s population – are affected and in need of assistance.

CARE has shipped water purification sachets from nearby Panama to Port-au-Prince and today deployed additional emergency relief staff to the capital, including personnel who were part of the response to the devastating Hurricane Hanna in 2008. CARE plans an initial 10-ton distribution of high-protein biscuits from warehouses in Haiti, enough for 60,000 emergency meals. And CARE is working together with the World Food Program, which is airlifting 86 metric tons of additional biscuits – enough for half a million emergency meals – from its satellite logistics hub in El Salvador.

CARE hasn’t yet determined if all its 133 staff are safe and we are getting reports that many of our staff’s family members perished in the quake, particularly children. Children were still in school when the earthquake hit, and many are feared trapped or killed beneath the rubble.

“This is Haiti’s darkest day,” said Joseph Francoeur Jean, CARE’s project manager in the nearby Haitian city of Gonaives. “This was a hard blow for Haiti and our colleagues, some of whom lost children. In addition to the emergency, we also need to think about giving people psychosocial help, and assist them to rebuild their homes and their lives.” Jean, speaking via Skype, said the immediate needs are first-aid supplies, water
purification solution, body bags, and emergency food rations.

Flights into the Port-au-Prince airport have been all but cancelled, and many aid agencies are flying into neighboring Dominican Republic before making their way into Port-au-Prince by land. Hauke Hoops, CARE’s Regional Emergency Coordinator, arrived in Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic just after midnight today, and spoke before boarding a plane to Port-au-Prince.

“The airport is full of aid workers, rescue teams. It is turning into the humanitarian hub,” said Hoops, who met with other agencies to determine how to get supplies to disaster-affected communities in Haiti. “Reports are that there is no water or food in Port-au-Prince. That will be CARE’s first priority for the emergency response, and I am working with other agencies to find options to procure food and water for the people affected.”

Sophie Perez, CARE’s Country Director in Haiti, was in the CARE office in Port-au-Prince when the earthquake hit. CARE’s staff of roughly 30 people in the Port-au-Prince office escaped the office safely, but we are still trying to determine if all other staff in the
area are safe.

“Children were still in school when the earthquake hit, so there are many children trapped. It’s horrifying,” Perez said. “The slums on the hills have also completely collapsed. We’ve heard of landslides, with entire communities being wiped out.” Fear of more building collapses during aftershocks has forced many in the capital to stay outside, including CARE staff. “I spent the night outside by the gate with my children,” Perez said. “There were eight aftershocks during the night, and we woke up every time. My children are terrified. Everyone is terrified.”

CARE began working in Haiti in 1954 to provide relief assistance after Hurricane Hazel. Today CARE’s work in Haiti includes projects in HIV/AIDS, reproductive health, maternal and child health, education, food security, and water and sanitation.

CARE recognizes the following partners for their generous donations and in-kind support of our emergency relief efforts: Cargill, Delta Air Lines, Hanesbrands Inc., JPMorgan Chase and UPS.

To Donate: Go to www.care.org or call 1 800 521 CARE.

About CARE: Founded in 1945, CARE is one of the world’s largest humanitarian aid agencies. Working side by side with poor people in 72 countries, CARE helps empower communities to address the greatest threats to their survival. Women are at the heart of CARE’s efforts to improve health, education and economic development because experience shows that a woman’s achievements yield dramatic benefits for her entire family. CARE is also committed to providing lifesaving assistance during times of crisis and helping rebuild safer, stronger communities afterward.

Don’t go to Lamebook.com, because you will get sucked in for hours.  I’m not kidding …

Like tragedy:  Join the “Pray Robert survives his suicide attempt” Facebook group.

or pregnancy: Erica is late…cross your fingers I’m not preggers.

or how drunk you are:  Alissa is cracking up that she blacked out at her company holiday party.

Any others?  That’s what the comments are for … get creative …

(Thanks to Guyism.com for the starters above.)

A study tested random samples of reusable grocery bags and found that 64% were contaminated with “some level of bacteria,” 30% had “elevated bacterial counts” higher than what is considered safe for drinking water, 40% had yeast or mold, and some had “an unacceptable presence of coliforms.”

(Coliforms are a broad class of bacteria found in our environment, including the feces of man and other warm-blooded animals.  Yum.)

More from the Times Colonist, a Canadian newspaper.

It’s a warm summer night, and J-Woww, Angelina, and Snookie are doing what they normally do: sitting in the rooftop hot tub and discussing what they were going to wear to the club that weekend. Pauly was downstairs on the Soloflex, and The Situation was at a very important dinner with Danny, who owned the t-shirt store where everyone worked. All was quiet and normal on the Jersey Shore.

Later that night, at dinner, Pauly asks Situation how things went with Danny.

“Things were cool, bro. He said he wants me to keep working at the t-shirt store. That our group here really sells a LOT of t-shirts for him and that I’m a big part of the team. I asked him about a raise, too.”

J-Woww looked up from her spaghetti and sausage, and took a huge drink of wine. “How’d that go?” she asked nervously.

“I got no complaints about that at all.”

“Awesome,” said Pauly. “You’re back at the t-shirt store for next few years! Let’s do a shot in celebration!”

“Not so fast, Pauly. The Situation has more of a situation to explain.”

He went on to say that he had no way of know if Danny threw out a fair offer.  He asked if he could hang onto Danny’s offer and see what else was out there. He wasn’t about to agree to sling t-shirts for the next three years without even knowing if the dollars Danny was talking about were good or bad. It had been years since he looked into other jobs … he had no idea what was fair and what was insulting and what was generous. He’d spend a few weeks looking at other opportunities and then he’d let Danny know. Danny totally understood.

Everyone at the table looked worried, but Situation assured them that nothing would change. “I don’t want to go anywhere. Youse my family, but I gotta get paid, right? Let me look around and when this is all done, we’ll still be together. Now Pauly … pour those shots!”

Everyone laughed and drank and had unprotected sex with strangers from the club and all was right on the Jersey Shore.

**********

“Hey, Situation! What’s up with Danny? You guys get all squared away with your job down at the t-shirt store?” Sammi Sweetheart was yelling over the sounds of 5 hair dryers on full blast. Sammi and Situation both had the same job at the t-shirt store. If Situation left, Sammi would be left with a LOT of work … and she didn’t want that. She crossed her fingers and waited for his answer.

“No change, Sweetheart” shouted The Situation as he worked the get through his hair. “But I’m going to go talk to him again. A few other t-shirt stores were interested in doing something with me, but they were in California and Cali isn’t ready for The Situation. I even had some interest from people outside of the t-shirt industry. Cool to feel wanted, but my home is at the Jersey Shore. Danny’s money wasn’t the best … but it wasn’t the worst either. Time to work out a situation for The Situation.”

Everyone laughed and drank and had unprotected sex with strangers from the club and all was right on the Jersey Shore.

**********

It was early on a Wednesday, and Situation’s head was pounding from party the night before. He was going to walk down to the t-shirt shop and meet with Danny, get everything official. He slid his arm out from under the chick he banged the night before. (Jessie or something like that. He met her at the mall.) He threw on his nicest wife-beater, gave an extra squirt of Drakkar, and was out the door. It wasn’t long before he realized he was being followed.

“Yo, why you all up in my space. You want to throw down? Let’s GO! Right now! You don’t want none of The Situation!” He made a mental note to stop letting Pauly give him those ‘pump up’ injections.

Turns out the person following him was from another t-shirt store in town, and he had an idea. Did The Situation want his OWN t-shirt shop right down the street from Danny’s place? Situation asked a LOT of questions of this mysterious stranger, and then sat down to think about all of his options. It was a tough choice. The money: it would be more than what Danny was offering. The shop wasn’t in great shape, but could totally be fixed up to something awesome. It would be a brand new adventure. It would be a chance to move out of the shore house he’s shared with so many others and into his own place.

Then he started to get sad. People not from the Jersey Shore have a hard time understanding this, but family is everything. Family first. His own place would be totally amazing … but it’d be lonely. The new t-shirt guy would let him pick his own roommates, but Situation thought of Pauly and Sammi and J-Woww and Angelina and Snookie. THOSE were his roommates. There are no better roommates.

The Situation stood up and made the hardest decision that he’s ever made. He walked down the boardwalk and into Danny’s t-shirt store and said “let’s make a deal, bro.”

Danny smiled. “I’m glad you are here. It’s going to be a great summer.” The Situation was confused, because they had only talked about doing a whole-year deal. Why would Danny only talk about the summer? But The Situation gets confused easily, so this was no big deal.

Danny slid the agreement across the table and pointed out where to sign. Everything was different. Is was only for the summer, and the pay wasn’t what they agreed to. It was a totally different arrangement!

“What the f*%k is this, Danny?!?” The Situation was mad.

“I changed my mind. It happens. Sign it.”

“Hell no, bro. I ain’t signing nothing. We had a deal. I made decisions about the rest of my life based on your deal. Why you gettin’ all shady on me right now, Danny?”

Danny explained that he still thought this was a fair deal and that Situation should sign it. The Situation didn’t like this situation, and thought that Danny shouldn’t be taking back an offer that he originally made … especially when that offer was the basis for passing on other opportunities.

The Situation stormed out and back to the house.

He KNEW Danny was a fierce negotiator, but he didn’t think it would be this bad. He told the roommates what happened and explained, with much sadness, that he only had one option left. Everyone cried when The Situation walked out of the house and in the direction of that other t-shirt shop … The Situation included.

Pauly called Danny and set up a meeting and begged and pleaded to make things work out.

J-Woww, Angelina, Snookie, and Sammi were all sad, and they called The Situation often and told him he’d be missed and asked what they could do.

The Situation even called Danny a few times. “Please put your original offer back on the table. Please. I WANT to come back. I just can’t do it like this. Don’t make this hard on everyone.” Danny responded by taking down all of the posters that were hanging in the t-shirt shop of The Situation. Customers started to ask questions, and the roommates tried to explain what was going on. But the t-shirt industry is a hard, complicated thing to explain.

Danny held firm. And the new t-shirt shop was great. The Situation was starting to get to know them and they were really being awesome and had all the right answers. He missed his family, but started to see how comfortable that he could be in the new place. He got the keys to his new place. The Situation was as happy as he’s ever been. And then he was as sad as he’s ever been. Then he was happy again. Then he was sad. And that’s the way the next couple of weeks went.

Everyone laughed and drank and had unprotected sex with strangers from the club. But all wasn’t right on the Jersey Shore.

**********

Everyone took a break from the shore and went home to see their families for a couple of weeks, and when they came back, all the roommates except for The Situation gathered at Danny’s t-shirt store. They all explained to the customers as best they could, but things just weren’t the same. The Situation didn’t even look at the store, because he couldn’t bear to see everyone in his old place without him. He twirled around the keys to his own place in his pocket and knew that he had tried everything to stay. He thought of J-Woww’s friendship and Angelina fussing at him and Snookie laughing at all his jokes. He thought of Pauly and how they were the first roommates in the house and Sammi and how she kept everything together for all of them. He was sad. And he was bummed because when you get your own t-shirt store you should be thrilled beyond words.

The Situation walked into Danny’s office one last time. “Maybe you didn’t believe me, Danny. But look …”

He threw the keys down on the desk.

“Those are for the place right down the street from you. I haven’t used them yet, but I don’t have another choice. A man’s gotta eat. And my new girl, she shops A LOT! I need to take care of her.”

Danny looked up. “I know the roommates want to keep you. I’ve heard from some customers, too.”

The Situation interrupted him. “I’m here because of them. I need to know that if I am no longer part of that family, it’s 100% NOT because of me. I need to know, for me and for them, that I gave it all I could. It’s not too late, bro. We can work something out. But you hold the cards right now. What do you want to do?”

Outside the office, all of the roommates and a few customers were straining to hear. They gathered around close and pushed and shoved. Whispers of ‘what did he say’ and ‘who’s talking now’ were shushed mid sentence. It seemed like the whole world wanted to know what was going to happen next.

The Situation was nervous, but he didn’t show it. In the back of his mind, he could hear the commotion in the hall, and he wondered why everyone cared so much. But the fact that they did made him feel really, really good. Regardless of how this all turned out, The Situation was really glad he got to experience the process.

The hallway was silent.

Danny didn’t speak.

The Situation didn’t speak.

Then Danny stood up.

The Situation drew a breath in and looked him in the eye.  It was probably only 2 or 3 seconds, but seemed like 10 times that.

Danny spoke.  “Where do we start?”

The Situation took the deal from the other shop out of his pocket and passed it across the desk.  Danny unfolded it, read it, and folded it back up.  He rubbed his eyes and then looked back up at The Situation.

“Congratulations,” said Danny.  “Glad to have you back on the team.”  He extended his hand, and they shook.

The group in the hallway collectively let out their breath, and it sounded like a wave breaking on the beach in the middle of night.  Hearing the noise, Danny walked around the desk and shut the door.

Just a few minutes later, Danny and The Situation walked out of the office together, both smiling.  Danny disappeared pretty quickly, but The Situation stuck around and passed out hugs and high-fives and bought a round of shots.

Everything was back to normal and the way it was supposed to be on the Jersey Shore.

The Situation couldn’t wait to get back into the t-shirt shop, but he had one thing to do first.

He walked down the street to what could have been his place.  He pressed the key into the hand of the owner and hoped that they knew he was genuinely sad and disappointed.  They were willing to trust him with something very, very valuable.  Appreciation for that cannot be expressed in words, so he didn’t try beyond ‘thank you.’  Had the circumstances been different, it would have been the easiest decision ever.  But at this moment, it’s not the time.

He turned and started to walk away, and for a final time looked back over his shoulder at would could have been his.  He whispered one word to himself.

“Someday.”

And then he went home.

– The End –

It’s a warm summer night, and J-Woww, Angelina, and Snookie are doing what they normally do: sitting in the rooftop hot tub and discussing what they were going to wear to the club that weekend. Pauly was downstairs on the Soloflex, and The Situation was at a very important dinner with Danny, who owned the t-shirt store where everyone worked. All was quiet and normal on the Jersey Shore.

Later that night, at dinner, Pauly asks Situation how things went with Danny.

“Things were cool, bro. He said he wants me to keep working at the t-shirt store. That our group here really sells a LOT of t-shirts for him and that I’m a big part of the team. I asked him about a raise, too.”

J-Woww looked up from her spaghetti and sausage, and took a huge drink of wine. “How’d that go?” she asked nervously.

“I got no complaints about that at all.”

“Awesome,” said Pauly. “You’re back at the t-shirt store for next few years! Let’s do a shot in celebration!”

“Not so fast, Pauly. The Situation has more of a situation to explain.”

He went on to say that he had no way of know if Danny threw out a fair offer.  He asked if he could hang onto Danny’s offer and see what else was out there. He wasn’t about to agree to sling t-shirts for the next three years without even knowing if the dollars Danny was talking about were good or bad. It had been years since he looked into other jobs … he had no idea what was fair and what was insulting and what was generous. He’d spend a few weeks looking at other opportunities and then he’d let Danny know. Danny totally understood.

Everyone at the table looked worried, but Situation assured them that nothing would change. “I don’t want to go anywhere. Youse my family, but I gotta get paid, right? Let me look around and when this is all done, we’ll still be together. Now Pauly … pour those shots!”

Everyone laughed and drank and had unprotected sex with strangers from the club and all was right on the Jersey Shore.

**********

“Hey, Situation! What’s up with Danny? You guys get all squared away with your job down at the t-shirt store?” Sammi Sweetheart was yelling over the sounds of 5 hair dryers on full blast. Sammi and Situation both had the same job at the t-shirt store. If Situation left, Sammi would be left with a LOT of work … and she didn’t want that. She crossed her fingers and waited for his answer.

“No change, Sweetheart” shouted The Situation as he worked the get through his hair. “But I’m going to go talk to him again. A few other t-shirt stores were interested in doing something with me, but they were in California and Cali isn’t ready for The Situation. I even had some interest from people outside of the t-shirt industry. Cool to feel wanted, but my home is at the Jersey Shore. Danny’s money wasn’t the best … but it wasn’t the worst either. Time to work out a situation for The Situation.”

Everyone laughed and drank and had unprotected sex with strangers from the club and all was right on the Jersey Shore.

**********

It was early on a Wednesday, and Situation’s head was pounding from party the night before. He was going to walk down to the t-shirt shop and meet with Danny, get everything official. He slid his arm out from under the chick he banged the night before. (Jessie or something like that. He met her at the mall.) He threw on his nicest wife-beater, gave an extra squirt of Drakkar, and was out the door. It wasn’t long before he realized he was being followed.

“Yo, why you all up in my space. You want to throw down? Let’s GO! Right now! You don’t want none of The Situation!” He made a mental note to stop letting Pauly give him those ‘pump up’ injections.

Turns out the person following him was from another t-shirt store in town, and he had an idea. Did The Situation want his OWN t-shirt shop right down the street from Danny’s place? Situation asked a LOT of questions of this mysterious stranger, and then sat down to think about all of his options. It was a tough choice. The money: it would be more than what Danny was offering. The shop wasn’t in great shape, but could totally be fixed up to something awesome. It would be a brand new adventure. It would be a chance to move out of the shore house he’s shared with so many others and into his own place.

Then he started to get sad. People not from the Jersey Shore have a hard time understanding this, but family is everything. Family first. His own place would be totally amazing … but it’d be lonely. The new t-shirt guy would let him pick his own roommates, but Situation thought of Pauly and Sammi and J-Woww and Angelina and Snookie. THOSE were his roommates. There are no better roommates.

The Situation stood up and made the hardest decision that he’s ever made. He walked down the boardwalk and into Danny’s t-shirt store and said “let’s make a deal, bro.”

Danny smiled. “I’m glad you are here. It’s going to be a great summer.” The Situation was confused, because they had only talked about doing a whole-year deal. Why would Danny only talk about the summer? But The Situation gets confused easily, so this was no big deal.

Danny slid the agreement across the table and pointed out where to sign. Everything was different. Is was only for the summer, and the pay wasn’t what they agreed to. It was a totally different arrangement!

“What the f*%k is this, Danny?!?” The Situation was mad.

“I changed my mind. It happens. Sign it.”

“Hell no, bro. I ain’t signing nothing. We had a deal. I made decisions about the rest of my life based on your deal. Why you gettin’ all shady on me right now, Danny?”

Danny explained that he still thought this was a fair deal and that Situation should sign it. The Situation didn’t like this situation, and thought that Danny shouldn’t be taking back an offer that he originally made … especially when that offer was the basis for passing on other opportunities.

The Situation stormed out and back to the house.

He KNEW Danny was a fierce negotiator, but he didn’t think it would be this bad. He told the roommates what happened and explained, with much sadness, that he only had one option left. Everyone cried when The Situation walked out of the house and in the direction of that other t-shirt shop … The Situation included.

Pauly called Danny and set up a meeting and begged and pleaded to make things work out.

J-Woww, Angelina, Snookie, and Sammi were all sad, and they called The Situation often and told him he’d be missed and asked what they could do.

The Situation even called Danny a few times. “Please put your original offer back on the table. Please. I WANT to come back. I just can’t do it like this. Don’t make this hard on everyone.” Danny responded by taking down all of the posters that were hanging in the t-shirt shop of The Situation. Customers started to ask questions, and the roommates tried to explain what was going on. But the t-shirt industry is a hard, complicated thing to explain.

Danny held firm. And the new t-shirt shop was great. The Situation was starting to get to know them and they were really being awesome and had all the right answers. He missed his family, but started to see how comfortable that he could be in the new place. He got the keys to his new place. The Situation was as happy as he’s ever been. And then he was as sad as he’s ever been. Then he was happy again. Then he was sad. And that’s the way the next couple of weeks went.

Everyone laughed and drank and had unprotected sex with strangers from the club. But all wasn’t right on the Jersey Shore.

**********

Everyone took a break from the shore and went home to see their families for a couple of weeks, and when they came back, all the roommates except for The Situation gathered at Danny’s t-shirt store. They all explained to the customers as best they could, but things just weren’t the same. The Situation didn’t even look at the store, because he couldn’t bear to see everyone in his old place without him. He twirled around the keys to his own place in his pocket and knew that he had tried everything to stay. He thought of J-Woww’s friendship and Angelina fussing at him and Snookie laughing at all his jokes. He thought of Pauly and how they were the first roommates in the house and Sammi and how she kept everything together for all of them. He was sad. And he was bummed because when you get your own t-shirt store you should be thrilled beyond words.

The Situation walked into Danny’s office one last time. “Maybe you didn’t believe me, Danny. But look …”

He threw the keys down on the desk.

“Those are for the place right down the street from you. I haven’t used them yet, but I don’t have another choice. A man’s gotta eat. And my new girl, she shops A LOT! I need to take care of her.”

Danny looked up. “I know the roommates want to keep you. I’ve heard from some customers, too.”

The Situation interrupted him. “I’m here because of them. I need to know that if I am no longer part of that family, it’s 100% NOT because of me. I need to know, for me and for them, that I gave it all I could. It’s not too late, bro. We can work something out. But you hold the cards right now. What do you want to do?”

Outside the office, all of the roommates and a few customers were straining to hear. They gathered around close and pushed and shoved. Whispers of ‘what did he say’ and ‘who’s talking now’ were shushed mid sentence. It seemed like the whole world wanted to know what was going to happen next.

The Situation was nervous, but he didn’t show it. In the back of his mind, he could hear the commotion in the hall, and he wondered why everyone cared so much. But the fact that they did made him feel really, really good. Regardless of how this all turned out, The Situation was really glad he got to experience the process.

The hallway was silent.

Danny didn’t speak.

The Situation didn’t speak.

Then Danny stood up.

… to be continued …

Listen … I’m the first person to say that I should be worshiped … but it’s getting a bit much, don’t ya think?  Almost a little Ferris Bueller-esqe?

A new day, a new update from Rodney Ho at the AJC.  Read all about it here.

“Oh, he’s very popular, Ed.  The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wasteoids, dweebies, dickheads — they all adore him.

They think he’s a righteous dude.”

I promise: definite answers tomorrow.  I’m sorry this is dragging on soooo looooooong.

And, I have a dandy tale to tell.  Just need to figure out the best way to do it.  I think I have an idea.

Talk to you soon …

I don’t have one.  Maybe (hopefully) tomorrow.

I am thankful that of all the weeks this could happen, this is the one.  Job or no job, I have no interest in temperatures of 15 degrees, and prefer to stay in bed under lots of blankets.  I left Syracuse to avoid this crap.

Speaking of the ‘Cuse, enjoy these pictures from my Mom and Dad, enjoying some of Upstate NY’s finest white stuff:

That’s what 15 inches looks like.  (That’s what she said.)

Once all this craziness is behind me, I really think I am going to make and stick to some 2010 resolutions.  I normally make birthday resolutions, but didn’t do that last birthday … so I owe myself.

• 10 ways to get motivated for change in 2010
• Realistic Resolutions From Dr. Oz

Rodney Ho did another updated piece on the radio excitement, and you can read it here.  The support of me in the comments is appreciated, the criticism is expected.  But some readers get pretty mean about others on the show, especially Wendy.  That is not warranted.  I don’t agree with what people have been writing, and I am sick that Wendy has been subjected to such cruel commentary because of something connected to me.  She works a miserable split shift, always has a great attitude, and goes above and beyond without complaint, and has earned her slot on the show through hard work.  I don’t share your views, and think I am more qualified to pass judgment because I see her every day (or saw her every day) and have worked with her for years.  She’s also become a great friend of both Jessica’s and mine.  If it bothers you that much, use the buttons on your radio.  But don’t use the shadows of the internet to be cruel for no reason.  If you send us true criticism, we will read it and consider it.  If you are being mean for no reason other than to be mean … you get deleted and only wasted your own time.

Thank you again for all of the support.  I appreciate tremendously.  I will update here as events warrant.

Today I am your champion.
I may have won your hearts.
But I know the game,
You will forget my name,
And I won’t be here
In another year,
If I don’t stay on the charts.

p.s.  It’s not all about money.