It’s a warm summer night, and J-Woww, Angelina, and Snookie are doing what they normally do: sitting in the rooftop hot tub and discussing what they were going to wear to the club that weekend. Pauly was downstairs on the Soloflex, and The Situation was at a very important dinner with Danny, who owned the t-shirt store where everyone worked. All was quiet and normal on the Jersey Shore.

Later that night, at dinner, Pauly asks Situation how things went with Danny.

“Things were cool, bro. He said he wants me to keep working at the t-shirt store. That our group here really sells a LOT of t-shirts for him and that I’m a big part of the team. I asked him about a raise, too.”

J-Woww looked up from her spaghetti and sausage, and took a huge drink of wine. “How’d that go?” she asked nervously.

“I got no complaints about that at all.”

“Awesome,” said Pauly. “You’re back at the t-shirt store for next few years! Let’s do a shot in celebration!”

“Not so fast, Pauly. The Situation has more of a situation to explain.”

He went on to say that he had no way of know if Danny threw out a fair offer.  He asked if he could hang onto Danny’s offer and see what else was out there. He wasn’t about to agree to sling t-shirts for the next three years without even knowing if the dollars Danny was talking about were good or bad. It had been years since he looked into other jobs … he had no idea what was fair and what was insulting and what was generous. He’d spend a few weeks looking at other opportunities and then he’d let Danny know. Danny totally understood.

Everyone at the table looked worried, but Situation assured them that nothing would change. “I don’t want to go anywhere. Youse my family, but I gotta get paid, right? Let me look around and when this is all done, we’ll still be together. Now Pauly … pour those shots!”

Everyone laughed and drank and had unprotected sex with strangers from the club and all was right on the Jersey Shore.

**********

“Hey, Situation! What’s up with Danny? You guys get all squared away with your job down at the t-shirt store?” Sammi Sweetheart was yelling over the sounds of 5 hair dryers on full blast. Sammi and Situation both had the same job at the t-shirt store. If Situation left, Sammi would be left with a LOT of work … and she didn’t want that. She crossed her fingers and waited for his answer.

“No change, Sweetheart” shouted The Situation as he worked the get through his hair. “But I’m going to go talk to him again. A few other t-shirt stores were interested in doing something with me, but they were in California and Cali isn’t ready for The Situation. I even had some interest from people outside of the t-shirt industry. Cool to feel wanted, but my home is at the Jersey Shore. Danny’s money wasn’t the best … but it wasn’t the worst either. Time to work out a situation for The Situation.”

Everyone laughed and drank and had unprotected sex with strangers from the club and all was right on the Jersey Shore.

**********

It was early on a Wednesday, and Situation’s head was pounding from party the night before. He was going to walk down to the t-shirt shop and meet with Danny, get everything official. He slid his arm out from under the chick he banged the night before. (Jessie or something like that. He met her at the mall.) He threw on his nicest wife-beater, gave an extra squirt of Drakkar, and was out the door. It wasn’t long before he realized he was being followed.

“Yo, why you all up in my space. You want to throw down? Let’s GO! Right now! You don’t want none of The Situation!” He made a mental note to stop letting Pauly give him those ‘pump up’ injections.

Turns out the person following him was from another t-shirt store in town, and he had an idea. Did The Situation want his OWN t-shirt shop right down the street from Danny’s place? Situation asked a LOT of questions of this mysterious stranger, and then sat down to think about all of his options. It was a tough choice. The money: it would be more than what Danny was offering. The shop wasn’t in great shape, but could totally be fixed up to something awesome. It would be a brand new adventure. It would be a chance to move out of the shore house he’s shared with so many others and into his own place.

Then he started to get sad. People not from the Jersey Shore have a hard time understanding this, but family is everything. Family first. His own place would be totally amazing … but it’d be lonely. The new t-shirt guy would let him pick his own roommates, but Situation thought of Pauly and Sammi and J-Woww and Angelina and Snookie. THOSE were his roommates. There are no better roommates.

The Situation stood up and made the hardest decision that he’s ever made. He walked down the boardwalk and into Danny’s t-shirt store and said “let’s make a deal, bro.”

Danny smiled. “I’m glad you are here. It’s going to be a great summer.” The Situation was confused, because they had only talked about doing a whole-year deal. Why would Danny only talk about the summer? But The Situation gets confused easily, so this was no big deal.

Danny slid the agreement across the table and pointed out where to sign. Everything was different. Is was only for the summer, and the pay wasn’t what they agreed to. It was a totally different arrangement!

“What the f*%k is this, Danny?!?” The Situation was mad.

“I changed my mind. It happens. Sign it.”

“Hell no, bro. I ain’t signing nothing. We had a deal. I made decisions about the rest of my life based on your deal. Why you gettin’ all shady on me right now, Danny?”

Danny explained that he still thought this was a fair deal and that Situation should sign it. The Situation didn’t like this situation, and thought that Danny shouldn’t be taking back an offer that he originally made … especially when that offer was the basis for passing on other opportunities.

The Situation stormed out and back to the house.

He KNEW Danny was a fierce negotiator, but he didn’t think it would be this bad. He told the roommates what happened and explained, with much sadness, that he only had one option left. Everyone cried when The Situation walked out of the house and in the direction of that other t-shirt shop … The Situation included.

Pauly called Danny and set up a meeting and begged and pleaded to make things work out.

J-Woww, Angelina, Snookie, and Sammi were all sad, and they called The Situation often and told him he’d be missed and asked what they could do.

The Situation even called Danny a few times. “Please put your original offer back on the table. Please. I WANT to come back. I just can’t do it like this. Don’t make this hard on everyone.” Danny responded by taking down all of the posters that were hanging in the t-shirt shop of The Situation. Customers started to ask questions, and the roommates tried to explain what was going on. But the t-shirt industry is a hard, complicated thing to explain.

Danny held firm. And the new t-shirt shop was great. The Situation was starting to get to know them and they were really being awesome and had all the right answers. He missed his family, but started to see how comfortable that he could be in the new place. He got the keys to his new place. The Situation was as happy as he’s ever been. And then he was as sad as he’s ever been. Then he was happy again. Then he was sad. And that’s the way the next couple of weeks went.

Everyone laughed and drank and had unprotected sex with strangers from the club. But all wasn’t right on the Jersey Shore.

**********

Everyone took a break from the shore and went home to see their families for a couple of weeks, and when they came back, all the roommates except for The Situation gathered at Danny’s t-shirt store. They all explained to the customers as best they could, but things just weren’t the same. The Situation didn’t even look at the store, because he couldn’t bear to see everyone in his old place without him. He twirled around the keys to his own place in his pocket and knew that he had tried everything to stay. He thought of J-Woww’s friendship and Angelina fussing at him and Snookie laughing at all his jokes. He thought of Pauly and how they were the first roommates in the house and Sammi and how she kept everything together for all of them. He was sad. And he was bummed because when you get your own t-shirt store you should be thrilled beyond words.

The Situation walked into Danny’s office one last time. “Maybe you didn’t believe me, Danny. But look …”

He threw the keys down on the desk.

“Those are for the place right down the street from you. I haven’t used them yet, but I don’t have another choice. A man’s gotta eat. And my new girl, she shops A LOT! I need to take care of her.”

Danny looked up. “I know the roommates want to keep you. I’ve heard from some customers, too.”

The Situation interrupted him. “I’m here because of them. I need to know that if I am no longer part of that family, it’s 100% NOT because of me. I need to know, for me and for them, that I gave it all I could. It’s not too late, bro. We can work something out. But you hold the cards right now. What do you want to do?”

Outside the office, all of the roommates and a few customers were straining to hear. They gathered around close and pushed and shoved. Whispers of ‘what did he say’ and ‘who’s talking now’ were shushed mid sentence. It seemed like the whole world wanted to know what was going to happen next.

The Situation was nervous, but he didn’t show it. In the back of his mind, he could hear the commotion in the hall, and he wondered why everyone cared so much. But the fact that they did made him feel really, really good. Regardless of how this all turned out, The Situation was really glad he got to experience the process.

The hallway was silent.

Danny didn’t speak.

The Situation didn’t speak.

Then Danny stood up.

The Situation drew a breath in and looked him in the eye.  It was probably only 2 or 3 seconds, but seemed like 10 times that.

Danny spoke.  “Where do we start?”

The Situation took the deal from the other shop out of his pocket and passed it across the desk.  Danny unfolded it, read it, and folded it back up.  He rubbed his eyes and then looked back up at The Situation.

“Congratulations,” said Danny.  “Glad to have you back on the team.”  He extended his hand, and they shook.

The group in the hallway collectively let out their breath, and it sounded like a wave breaking on the beach in the middle of night.  Hearing the noise, Danny walked around the desk and shut the door.

Just a few minutes later, Danny and The Situation walked out of the office together, both smiling.  Danny disappeared pretty quickly, but The Situation stuck around and passed out hugs and high-fives and bought a round of shots.

Everything was back to normal and the way it was supposed to be on the Jersey Shore.

The Situation couldn’t wait to get back into the t-shirt shop, but he had one thing to do first.

He walked down the street to what could have been his place.  He pressed the key into the hand of the owner and hoped that they knew he was genuinely sad and disappointed.  They were willing to trust him with something very, very valuable.  Appreciation for that cannot be expressed in words, so he didn’t try beyond ‘thank you.’  Had the circumstances been different, it would have been the easiest decision ever.  But at this moment, it’s not the time.

He turned and started to walk away, and for a final time looked back over his shoulder at would could have been his.  He whispered one word to himself.

“Someday.”

And then he went home.

– The End –